Want to be more persuasive? Always back yourself!
It’s common to suffer from self-doubt and not put ourselves in situations where we might make a mistake or embarrass ourselves. After all, no one wants to be thought of as a fool, especially when we are persuading someone to agree with our big idea. The Commanding Eagle is one of the four approaches to persuasion. Commanding Eagles with undeniable personal authority naturally exude confidence and conviction in their ability and ideas – they always back themselves. When you back yourself and have faith in yourself and your ideas it is very contagious. My sassy daughter Holly says to me, “Mum, moods are contagious, is yours worth catching?” Ha ha! She’s so sassy and she is so right!
What does it mean to back yourself?
To back yourself is to have faith in yourself. You know you can do it. Commanding Eagles are confident about their strengths, they know they have the runs on the board and that they are the best person for the job at hand. They are passionate and committed to their causes. They are confident at articulating their perspective and they don’t back down easily unless the evidence is compelling. Because Commanding Eagles take advantage of opportunities to collaborate with others and contribute to their favourite causes as a way of building their expertise and skills, they generally move through life feeling excellent.
Commanding Eagles don’t shy away from difficult issues.
How to back yourself
Journal. One way to make sure you back yourself is to use a journal to note down all your strengths. Don’t be shy about this. Write them all down and them celebrate this daily. Another way to build your confidence in communication is to use your journal to express what you think (and why you think it) about a variety of issues and challenges. Use your writing to clarify your thinking and refine your perspectives. This in turn means you’ll be better able to express what you mean when the time is right.
File compliments. Start a file or folder where you store positive memories including compliments and praise from others. When you are feeling less than confident you can read through the file and give yourself a boost.
Remember you are the expert. Do everything you can to be an expert in your field and own your lane. Strive to know everything you can about all aspects of your niche. It’s very important to believe you are the best person for the job, your idea is excellent, your products and services are second to none. You’ll be best placed to feel this way about yourself if you’ve done the work. You may know that Malcom Gladwell the best-selling author says it takes 10,000 hours to become an exceptional person who is superior in their field of expertise. Today is the day to focus on getting those 10,000 hours under your belt so you can back yourself in every circumstance.
“In fact, researchers have settled on what they believe is the magic number for true expertise: ten thousand hours.”
Malcolm Gladwell, best-selling author
Manage conflict. We all move through life dealing with the contrary opinions of others that test our boundaries. When someone tries to railroad you or force you into something you believe is wrong it’s time to stretch your Commanding Eagle wings. Strive to deal with conflict in a functional way where everyone wins. There’s a fantastic model for managing conflict that involves five steps; state the objection, say ‘and’ or ‘so’ or pause, then say ‘actually’ or in fact’, then solve the objection, then use the word because.
Lydell is my wonderful client. He’s clever, experienced, and incredibly innovative in his thinking. He achieves ground-breaking wins for his business. Do you know what? He knows it! Before you groan and say something less than friendly, he doesn’t know this in an arrogant way that is a turn off to the people who he works with and for. He just knows that he is the right person for the job. He knows what he is doing. He has years and years of exciting relevant experience. He’s an expert in his field. And he knows this about himself. He backs himself. Lydell exudes confidence when he speaks up in a meeting and I can tell you that it he very attractive and persuasive to his colleagues, suppliers, team members and leaders. Lydell is undeniable.
What could you do to start the process of realising your strengths so that you are even better at backing yourself and your ideas?
Friends I have some exciting news! My new book How to Persuade (Wiley) will be on the shelves in August 2022. Packed full of the skills you need to get what you want. Stay tuned for information on pre-orders in July.
© Michelle Bowden 2022. Michelle Bowden is an authority on presentation & persuasion in business. Michelle is a CSP (the highest designation for speakers in the world), Creator of the Persuasion Smart Profile® (a world-first psychometric indicator that tests your persuasiveness at work), best-selling internationally published author (Wiley), and a regular commentator in print, radio and online media. www.michellebowden.com.au